tips and tricks

1. Try this game: Ask people these questions, in this order: “What’s 1+1? What’s 2+2? What’s 4+4? What’s 8+8?” Then ask them to name a vegetable. They almost always say carrot.

2. When arguing with someone, act much calmer than them. This can cause them to say something particularly irrational which you can use against them.

3. Nodding your head while asking a question makes the other person more likely to agree with you.

4. When high-fiving, look at their elbow and you’ll never miss.

5. If you have a song stuck in your head that you can’t seem to get out, think of the end of the song and it should go away. This is due to something called the Zeigarnik effect, which is basically your mind having a problem with things left unfinished.

6. If you want to get your child to do something, say, drink milk, do what Tigerlily1510 says: “Ask your son if he wants milk and he’ll say no, but ask him if he wants milk in a blue cup or a red cup and he’ll choose a colour and drink his milk! Magic!”

7. Use silence to your advantage when negotiating. People have a natural tendency to be uncomfortable with silence, and will often do whatever it takes to break it. Just be patient.

8. If you want someone to believe your lie, add an embarrassing detail about yourself. For example: “Instead of saying, “No I wasn’t at Jimson James’ house. I was with Randy the whole time.” Try saying, “No I haven’t been to Jimsons’ in a while. I clogged his toilet so I don’t think his parents want me over there for a while… so me and Randy hung out.”

The Weirdest World Championship

Chess is above all a mind game, and players sometimes go to ridiculous lengths to psych out their opponents. But for sheer insanity, the World Championship showdown between Viktor Korchnoi (pictured left) and Anatoly Karpov (pictured right) takes the cake.

The two grand masters were intense rivals. Karpov was a member of the Communist Party and a model of the “Soviet New Man.” Like every chess player who brought honors to the Soviet state, Karpov was rewarded with a Mercedes, a chauffeur, a Moscow apartment, and a country dacha. Korchnoi, on the other hand, was a rebel who defected to the Netherlands in 1976 and constantly criticized the Soviet system. To the Soviets, the Jewish Korchnoi was a diseased and immoral character.

The 1972 title match between Bobby Fischer and Boris Spassky proved that the Cold War could be fought as intensely on a chessboard as on an actual battlefield. In 1978, Fischer had forfeited his title, and the free world was now represented by Korchnoi. His showdown with Karpov, the ice-cold calculator from behind the Iron Curtain, took place in Baguio, Philippines.

For their first game, Korchnoi wore mirrored sunglasses to hide his eyes from Karpov’s stare, which had bothered him in a previous match. Karpov complained that the mirrors reflected the light into his eyes. Karpov also requested that Korchnoi’s chair be examined for “prohibited devices” (presumably the mind-zapping kind) and distracted his opponent by swiveling in his own chair during games.

Korchnoi’s camp then objected to the yogurt delivered to Karpov during games, suggesting that the color might be some sort of coded message. Perhaps a strawberry yogurt signified one move and raspberry another. Korchnoi was also bothered by a member of the Soviet entourage named Vladimir Zukhar, a parapsychologist who would sit in the front row and stare malevolently at him. Korchnoi suspected that Zukhar was hypnotizing him and interfering with his brain waves. Thanks to the “psychic,” Korchnoi was a nervous wreck by the seventh game.

To counteract Zukhar, Korchnoi brought in Dada and Didi, two members of an Indian sect called Ananda Marga. Zukhar had the two mystics teach him yoga and transcendental meditation. It was now the Soviet delegation’s turn to be unsettled when Dada and Didi hovered around them during the games.

Revived, Korchnoi came back from being three games behind to leveling the score at five to five. Whoever won the next game would become the champion. There was an unsubstantiated claim that the KGB was ready to poison Korchnoi. If true, his life was probably spared when he lost the tiebreaker. After failing to beat Karpov in their grudge match, Korchnoi said he would bring along the CIA next time around. Moscow simply laughed him off.

Powerful Mind Tricks for Handling Difficult Clients 5

5) Establish Control

One of the biggest mistakes consultants make is letting clients steer the relationship from the beginning. Remember, clients hire consultants because they want and need guidance. In the mind of most clients, a consultant in need of babysitting can’t be respected or trusted.

By taking control from the outset and showing that you are a confident and capable leader, you’ll have a better chance of commanding respect.

What does control look like? It comes in many forms and is sometimes difficult to pull off because it requires being heavy-handed and assertive while maintaining a calm, cool, and collected appearance. For example: You could gain control of a client relationship by establishing a project schedule with deadlines that are realistic and in your favor. You could dictate the flow of all phone and in-person meetings -- don’t be afraid to cut off the ramblers who love to veer off topic or end a meeting on-time. And you could send weekly project updates with next steps to show full transparency and establish clarity.

Powerful Mind Tricks for Handling Difficult Clients 4

4) Always Under-Promise

We’ve heard it a thousand times, but in reality, under-promising and over-delivering is harder than it sounds. Saying "yes" is convenient and convincing because it’s what every client wants to hear. 

As tempting as it sounds to agree to every deadline, extra feature, or client demand, understand that if you don’t deliver as promised, the relationship is bound to sour and ultimately meet its demise.

Sure, under-promising means you’ll have to say "no," but let’s consider how it can sway things in your favor. Let’s say you tell a client you can’t promise you’ll be able to hit a tight deadline. Setting the expectation that it may not be possible sets you up to play the hero if you’re able to complete the project early or add additional features. More importantly, it protects you from false promises that will end up damaging your relationship.

Powerful Mind Tricks for Handling Difficult Clients 3

3) Stay Calm and Carry On

Conflict is a part of doing business, but how you react while under fire will have a major impact on the future of your client relationships.

The old adage, “the client is always right” still rings true. As a consultant, you have far more to lose by taking the low road and stooping to a client’s level of hostility. Treating someone with disdain or disrespect can reflect negatively on you and your company, so reputation management should always be top of mind.

Remember, people will often mirror the emotional signals you emit. If you respond with hostility and anger, don’t expect friendliness and understanding in return. Emotional intelligence can often be used to calm the storm, so use these tips for navigating your next conflict:

• Maintain a calm and professional tone while also remaining assertive.
• Refrain from name calling or finger pointing.
• Never say or write anything that can be used against you.
• Always resolved disputes in person or over the phone. Email is not an effective tool for hashing out disagreements.

Powerful Mind Tricks for Handling Difficult Clients 2

2) Never Apologize

Not everyone will agree with this premise, but my experience is that using the word "sorry" will make you look weak. Apologizing puts you on the defensive and gives the client the upper hand, so it’s best not to backpedal.

Even in situations where your company has made a blatant mistake, there are better ways to recover than immediately dropping the S-word.

Instead of this: “I’m greatly sorry for 'fill in the blank.' I promise it will not happen again.”

Say this instead: “It’s unfortunate that 'fill in the blank' happened. My team is aware of how it affected your business, and we thank you for your patience and understanding while we resolve the matter.” 

Notice the second option uses the word “unfortunate” to acknowledge remorse and uses the words “patience” and “understanding” to plant a psychological seed in the client’s mind. Even if the client hasn't been patient or understanding, using these words can reverse the tension.

Mind Tricks That Win People Over and Help You Get Ahead

When you’re working hard and doing all you can to achieve your goals, anything that can give you an edge is powerful and will streamline your path to success.

Mind tricks won’t make you a Jedi, but using the brain’s natural quirks to your advantage can have a positive impact on everyone you encounter.

None of these tricks are deceitful or disingenuous, except for number six, and I trust that you’ll only use that one with good reason.

As soon as you become aware of these 12 tricks, they start popping up wherever you look. With minimal effort on your part, their unconscious influence on behavior can make a huge difference in your day-to-day life.

1. When a group of people laughs, each member of the group can’t help but make eye contact with the person they feel closest to

This trick can make you an astute observer of relationships of all types. It can tell you which members of your team are bonding and learning to trust one another, just as easily as it can tell you if you might have a shot at landing a date with a certain someone. Of course, you’ll learn a lot about how you feel about other people just by paying attention to whom you make eye contact with.

2. When someone does a favor for you, it actually makes them like you more

When you convince someone to do you a favor, they unconsciously justify why they are willing to do so. Typical justifications include things such as “he’s my friend,” “I like him,” and “he seems like the kind of person who would return the favor.” These justifications serve you perfectly. Not only did you just get help with something, but the other party also likes you more than they did before.

3. Silence gets answers

When you ask someone a question and they’re slow to respond, don’t feel pressure to move the conversation forward. Remaining silent plays to your advantage. Moments of silence make people feel as though they should speak, especially when the ball is in their court. This is a great tool to use in negotiations and other difficult conversations. Just make certain you resist the urge to move the conversation forward until you get your answer.

4. Open hands and palms create trust

There’s an employee policy at LEGOLAND that says whenever someone asks where something is, the employee “presents” (open-palm gesture) their directions instead of “pointing” them. This is because the open-palmed gesture conveys trust, making people more likely to agree with what you’re saying and to find you friendly and likeable. Pointing, on the flip side, is generally seen as aggressive and rude.

5. Nodding your head during a conversation or when asking a question makes the other person more likely to agree with what you’re saying

The next time you need to win someone over to your way of thinking, try nodding your head as you speak. People unconsciously mirror the body language of those around them in order to better understand what other people are feeling. When you nod your head as you speak, you convey that what you’re saying is true and desirable, and people are more inclined to agree with you.

6. If you have to tell a lie, add embarrassing details to make it more believable

The more detailed a lie is, the more likely people are to believe it. When you add detail, people begin to put a picture to your story. When you include embarrassing details, the picture becomes all the more vivid and believable. After all, if you were going to make up a story, you would be much more inclined to make yourself look good.

7. People remember unfinished things better

The natural tendency to remember unfinished things is called the Zeigarnik effect. Ever notice how some television commercials get cut off early? The company paying for the commercial cuts it off so that it sticks in your head longer than other commercials. The best way to forget unfinished things (commercials or songs) is to finish them in your head. If a song gets stuck in your head, try singing the last lines to yourself. You’ll be amazed how quickly it goes away.

8. Chew gum to relax and focus

Chewing gum actually lowers your cortisol levels, the hormone responsible for stress. But chewing gum doesn’t just reduce stress, it also makes you more alert and improves your performance in memory-oriented tasks. It does so by increasing the blood flow to your brain and alerting your senses. When you experience a stressful situation while chewing gum, your body is less likely to go into the primal fight-or-flight mode (which results in poor decisions and inability to focus).

9. People’s feet reveal their interest

When talking to someone, pay attention to their feet. If their feet are aimed at you, they’re interested and listening to what you’re saying, but if their feet point away from you, they’re most likely disinterested and mentally checked out.

10. When you meet someone new, work their name into the conversation in order to remember it

The goal here is to repeat their name three times in the first five minutes. It works extremely well, but the trick is to do it naturally. When you rattle off their name unnecessarily, it sounds foolish and awkward. Try to use phrases like “Hello ____,” “Nice to meet you _____,” and “Where are you from _____.”

11. Showing excitement makes other people like you

This one goes back to the idea that we mirror the behavior of those around us. If you show excitement when you see someone, they naturally mirror that excitement back at you. It’s an easy way to make a strong first impression and to get people to like you.

12. Maintain eye contact for 60% of a conversation

The key to eye contact is balance. While it’s important to maintain eye contact, doing so 100% of the time is perceived as aggressive and creepy. At the same time, if you only maintain eye contact for a small portion of the conversation, you’ll come across as disinterested, shy, or embarrassed. Maintaining eye contact for roughly 60% of a conversation comes across as interested, friendly, and trustworthy.